rules from the male side.
These are our rules! Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are NOT quests to see if we can find the
perfect present yet again!
1. If you want to know what we want for Christmas or our birthday, don't wait around
for hints - give us a Brodak catalog and we will mark the appropriate (many) items.
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday = MODEL AVIATION. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Deal with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way - unless it's at
the hobby shop.
1. If you want us to go shopping with you and it's not at the hobby shop or hardware store,
don't ask.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!!!!!!!!!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on the calendar. Remind us
frequently beforehand. Just make sure it does not interfere with model airplane activities.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at
choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act
like soap opera guys.
1. Will we take you for a long weekend in Bermuda? Will you spend equal time with
us at Brodak's?
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes
you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say when we are not involved
in model aviation.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we!!
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first four months we were going out.
Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example,
is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability
is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. We never have enough engines or model planes.
1. NEVER throw out a Brodak or Philly Flyers T-shirt, no matter how faded. You've been warned.
1. The car smells like castor oil - live with it or use your own car.
1. NEVER ask us to choose between you and model aviation - you won't like the answer.
1. Channel #5 is perfume to you - Brodak dope is that to us.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight,
but did you know we really don't mind that, it's like camping!