(We take you now to the Oval Office where George Bush is about to receive a briefing from Condi.)
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George: Great. Who is it?
Condi: Yes.
George: Yes, what?
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.
George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you, sir.
George: Well, tell me. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes.
George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.
George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.
George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is the man leading China.
George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you. Hu is leading China.
George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: Well, if you know Hu is leading China, you don't have to ask.
George: But I don't know who is leading China?
Condi: But you just told me Hu is.
George: Who is?
Condi: Yes.
George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir? You mean Arafat is now in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi: He still is, sir.
George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.
George: Look, Condi. I need the name of the new leader of China. If you can't tell me, get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?
George: No, thanks.
Condi: Didn't you just ask me to get Kofi?
George: No, I did not ask for coffee.
Condi: Then you don't want Kofi.
George: No, I don't want coffee, I want you to get me the secretary general at the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: Milk! I'll take milk. Then make the call.
Condi: And call who?
George: I ca't remember his name. Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: No sir, Hu is the guy in China.
George: Who IS the guy in China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.
George: Not, Yassir, get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?
George: All right, coffee! With cream and two sugars. Then call the guyh in China and I'll ask him his name myself.
Leonard Neumann