Deserted

Two guys have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door. They suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree in the distance. As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with strips upon strips of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, nearly-raw bacon, all sorts.

"Look, Mark!" says the first man. "It's a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says Mark. "We're saved!"

Mark doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree, salivating at the prospect of food. But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops to the sand and calls across to the dying Mark, "What happened?"

With his dying breath, Mark calls back: "Run! It's not a Bacon Tree after all. It's a ham bush!"

Ion"
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"Bring it on!" Bring your long johns, too, Rio boy!