Seven days later, they were all together to discuss the "experience."
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages in assorted locations, started. He related, "I went into the woods to find a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. . . . We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like the good father said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus!"
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and in traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. Rabbi Lipschitz looked up and struggled to speak to the others. "Upon further reflection, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."
The Old Sourdough
Beer Can Cove, Alaska, US of A