Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
________________________________________________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
_________________________________________________________________________
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then
you dump the stock.
_________________________________________________________________________
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long
it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?"
The agent replies, "Just a minute..."
"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
________________________________________________________________________
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective.
"With a golf gun," the other detective replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."
_________________________________________________________________________
The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken
casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then
you dump the stock.
_________________________________________________________________________
This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing
the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of
him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?"
The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying
me a drink."
_________________________________________________________________________
Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by
mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did
that by accident."
She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."
He replied, "How did you know?"
She said, "Because you didn't say "a**hole!" afterwards.